Tesla’s Next Move: Tesla Restaurants

Tesla’s Next Move: Tesla Restaurants: Despite already having a lot on his plate, billionaire polymath Elon Musk is clearly planning to pull a tall white hat and flip burgers on the side of a highway near you. What on earth is his game plan?

Join us today as we study the rent bill and ask why Tesla wants to open restaurants. Although the take-up of Elon’s new electric vehicles has been on a spectacular upward trend around the world recently, a shocking statistic has put the entire future project on hold.

To wit, at least one in five EV early adopters in California have switched back to gas-guzzling conventional autos. Why? Due to frustration with electric vehicle charging infrastructure.

Internal combustion engines, or i-see-e-cars, for all their faults, can rapidly and easily fill up with dirty dinosaur juice at any gas station in two minutes flat. The attractive new EVs, on the other hand, takes over 30 minutes to charge even using the Express ‘Supercharger’ system.

If you’re in a hurry, there’s no getting around the fact that it’s a huge faf. But what if that half-hour could be spent productively, and even nutritionally?

That’s a big idea behind the Tesla patent application submitted on May 27 of this year. In the words of the application, the world’s most valuable car company is now exploring “restaurant services, pop-up restaurant services, self-service restaurant services [and] take-out restaurant services.”

That particular patent application returned Musk 350 bucks — so you know he’s mortally dead. The app even goes so far as to articulate their ‘bona fide’ intentions, with the hi-res Tesla logo attached underlining the company’s intention to enter the fickle world of foodies.

Industry analysts believe the move in food has been calculated to make the frustrating half-hour delay for drivers tastier and profitable for the firm.

And for a tantalizing sign of such a restaurant Tesla is inexplicably about to open, let’s look at the man’s 2018 tweet himself. ‘Will put an old school drive-in, roller skates, and rock restaurant in one of the new Tesla Supercharger locations in LA.

“Near 405,” Musk said, referring to the Los Angeles section of the Interstate Highway. So old-school apple pie All-American dining would seem to be the order of the day.

Many Californians have already taken to Twitter, in fact, begging for a partnership between Tesla and local favorite Sonic, an iconic burger-sling drive-in chain. But given Tesla’s commitment to sustainability and its overall holy-to-thou vibe, it’s likely that the restaurant will be run with more awake lines than your average sloppy burger joint.

And as it happens, Elon’s younger brother Kimble — himself a prominent Tesla board member — may be able to help.

After collecting his share of the loot back in 1999 from the enterprising brothers’ $300 million sales of Zip2 to Compaq, Kimbal Musk moved to Boulder, Colorado to establish his own restaurant chain, named The Kitchen.

These days a sprawling multi-state empire with sister brands like family-friendly Next Door, upscale bistro Hedge Row, and smart cocktail spot Upstairs, Kimble’s Kitchen Group is lyrical about its rugged farm-to-table credentials.

The group’s mission is to source as many ingredients as possible locally and provide a fresh, ‘greed-worthy’ offering that is environmentally healthy and low-impact.

So Tesla’s restaurant may actually be a purely health-conscious prospect, where people juice their Model S plaid while chopping on biodynamic leafy greens.

To be honest, we don’t know yet. Tesla’s Kettleman City Supercharger station, which is strategically located halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco, offers a taste of the kind of experience we can expect.

With 40 Supercharger stalls on the lot, Tesla drivers are invited to sit in a stylish low-rise building and chill on plush armchairs, complete with antique washroom facilities, respectable coffee, and enticing vending machines.

With Tesla being Tesla, Kettleman has no opportunity to whip up the company’s other smart tech products, such as Powerwall batteries and solar panels. The notion of creating a desirable lounge environment to address that frustrating charge delay is already working successfully in China.

There, a series of uber-design-conscious NIO houses — named after that country’s own aspiring EV leader — can be used to browse art galleries, shop, borrow volumes from the library, and even book conference space. Groovy invites young people to

There’s an upscale children’s play area, and each lounge at the network’s 23 sites serves its own delicious signature beverage. Waiting doesn’t feel so bad now, does it? This is not the first time that quality food has been put at risk as an incentive to motorists.

Hifalutin Gastronomic Bible The Michelin Guide, which awards stars to excellent and ideally laid out restaurants, first devised in 1900 as a plan to encourage drivers to get off the road and wear their tires Was.

The clue is in the name, after all. And it also wouldn’t be the first time Tesla has had a knack for the lucrative food and beverage market. For an April Fool’s sake during Tesla’s infamous 2018 ‘production hell,’ Elon Musk posted a spoof snap of himself after downing a skinful of ‘Teslaquilla’, a brand made of tequila.

Just for a laugh, later that same year, Musk actually launched the Teslaquilla as a real-life limited-edition product, retailing at $250 per bottle. It sold out and is probably worth too much now.

So Elon Musk is seriously considering a move into the restaurant business, possibly to win over skeptics who shouldn’t even bother waiting half an hour to save the world.

The opportunities for integrating these eateries into Tesla’s existing software ecosystem are interesting enough in their own right.

Imagine ordering from a menu on your car’s onboard screen, paying through your Tesla account seamlessly, then bringing a huge bowl of onion rings onto a tray by that Neuralink pong monkey. At the very least, it should give some food for thought to all those gloomy EV skeptics.

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3 thoughts on “Tesla’s Next Move: Tesla Restaurants”

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